My 100-Day Project Week 8
1. Day 50 — the halfway point. What am I thinking about this project? Sometimes I think it’s fun, other times I worry about what to say. When I stop thinking and worrying about it, something comes to me. When I think about it, then it feels forced and it’s harder to come up with something. The point of this exercise is to be open in the moment to what comes up. It’s a practice in being present in the moment and allowing what’s below to surface to rise. To quiet the mind, sit in stillness and let my inner wisdom speak. I’m not very good at this yet, but I keep practicing and we’ll see what happens by day 100.
2. I am part of a new subgroup of MEA (Modern Elder Academy) called Third Act. We are exploring this later stage of life. I was catching up on the comments posted to the Marco Polo app. One participant read the Wikipedia definition of third act which relates to storytelling and ends with the idea of the protagonist reaching a new sense of who they really are. This resonated with me about my journey since I retired. Another person brought up the ideas of expansion and contraction. Some people contract their lives later in life, while others expand. For me, it’s all about expansion — learning new things about the world, about myself, about how I interact and relate to the world and to others. This is such a rich time in life to explore.
3. Got up this morning feeling down about myself. I fell back into old patterns of behavior with my husband last night, and now I am telling myself I ‘shouldn’t’ have acted that way. I acted the way my thoughts sent me, that’s all. Thoughts come and go, and i don’t have to listen to them. I listened and when that happens, feeling and action flows. It’s a matter of continuing to raise my awareness of when I am starting to hold onto a thought that isn’t useful. Nothing is wrong and I have no reason to feel down about myself. I want to hold myself in grace and know that I can keep going in the direction that I want to. Awareness and stillness are the places in me that I long to be. But I am only human, and I know thoughts will come and go that I can’t control. I just need to let them pass and not hold onto them.
4. Melt down day yesterday. My humanness was in full form. I apologized to those involved but still felt bad. There is no purpose in beating myself up but it’s normal. All these thoughts about the situation, how I handled it, and how I beat myself up about it are thoughts I want to let go of. It happened, I learned from it, I was humbled by it, and I want to move on from it. But I am still thinking about it. I am still learning to let go.
5. During a coaching session yesterday, there was a discussion about the balance between inspiration and work. Regarding my Impossible Project, the idea is to find that balance. Without work, there is no creation. Without space for inspiration, serendipity can’t happen. I finished Patti Smith’s book about her relationship with Robert Mappelthorpe and near the end she writes about art. She writes about creating in the material world but with mystical connection and communication. This beautifully describes the life and driving force of an artist, something I have always felt removed from. It also describes the nature of life, of making room for providence, the universe, god, whatever you want to call it, but balancing that with effort in a direction. Start moving in a direction, be open, and see what happens.
6. I read recently that scientists discovered a cosmic web that runs through or connects the universe. There were a couple of images posted. This is an astounding and intriguing idea — that there is this link between galaxies all throughout the universe. It’s hard to get my mind around that idea but I like to think of that link as something that connects humans and nature. My Impossible Project is a book about my cat but it’s about more than that. It’s about the link between humans and animals. Maybe it’s a cosmic link?
7. I have a love/hate relationship with social media which I suppose many people do. I think our obsession with it causes so much stress. The need to always be on it, posting, following. I’m not that active and sometimes I think that is to the detriment of my coaching practice but marketing on social media isn’t the way I want to build it. I want to reach out to individuals, one on one. Make it personal and intimate. Social media marketing seems the opposite of that to me.
