My 100-Day Project Week 13
- Travel is finally opening up in Europe which is really good news. The EU will allow vaccinated Americans to travel there starting this summer. Details pending though. Once Kathy’s arm heals, I can travel with her to Portugal. We can finally start to plan our ‘move’.
2. I had a thought this morning: I’m hard. I wanted to explore this. I’m hard. I’m firm. I’m inflexible. I’m rigid. I’m stuck. I’m strong. I’m uncompromising. I’m closed. I’m unavailable. I’m walled off. I’m afraid. I’m unfeeling. I’ve been exploring feelings and it’s been difficult. I’m not allowing myself to go deep into my feelings to get at the truth of who I am. In my writing class, this is the work we need to do.
3. My floors are finally complete. The guy came yesterday to finish and it looks great. He did an thorough job, it looks beautiful and clean. Just what I was looking for. He told me when he was done that he will recommend the way he did the work become the standard. Something good came out of the struggle to get it done: both for me and for him and the company. If we can look through our momentary struggles, we might see the good that can result.
4. I got bit by a neighborhood cat the other day. I have a pretty serious infection and 10 days of antibiotics. I was petting the cat and a guy drove by and honked his horn. This startled the cat. It didn’t seem so serious at first but the next morning, I knew it was. We are still tracking down the owner to confirm the cat was vaccinated for rabies (it was.) This young cat was roaming the neighbor without a collar. Who knows what could happen to him: rabies, coyotes, cars, owls, hawks. There are lots of dangers for house cats outside. Please people, consider keeping your cats inside.
5. Someone brought up the topic of “What is Home”? My first thought was that home is anywhere you create a life, find safety, security, connection. On further thought, home is as simple as a quiet mind while sitting in front of a fire. I love this image and idea. When we quiet our minds, we connect with our inner essence, our true nature, our internal home. Initially, I was thinking about home in the external sense, but home in the internal sense is true north. If you are “home” internally, you have and are everything you need.
6. I’m feeling out of sorts today. Maybe it’s because of the infection, and the pain in my foot (going on almost a week.) I am not usually sick or have pain so it could be that. My mood the last couple of days has been dark. Negative thoughts in my mind about me, about others. I have been indulging in selfish feelings. It’s not a nice place to be. I know these thoughts arise and don’t mean anything, but I grasped onto them for some reason. I need to take some time to let my mind settle, let go of these thoughts, and know that sometimes dark thoughts come and it’s okay because I can let them go.
7. I don’t know what I want to write today. Allegra always writes something useful and inspiring but I feel like I am just writing drivel. What have I learned doing this project? It wasn’t as hard as I thought. The time has gone by quickly and its coming to a close soon. Writing something every day has been a way for me to think, even if it wasn’t about something super important. Too often I don’t bother to find out what’s going on in my head. Having a daily reminder to do that might be the most valuable part of this exercise.
